The Case of the Missing Thong

As promised . . .

After Ned and his now ex-girlfriend first consummated their love (on their second date), with Max looking on, she could not find her thong. She, not knowing Ned very well, accused him of being a pervert who had stolen her underwear (and, she alleged, several other women's underwear) as some type of conquest souvenir. ed, protesting his innocence from his hands and knees, frantically searched for the thong as his date dressed and stormed out, slamming the door for good measure. Ned's subsequent search efforts were no more successful. However, on an early morning walk two days later, Max solved the mystery. At first fearing that part of Max's small intestine lay in the fresh pile of dog poop on the sidewalk in front the dry cleaners, Ned knelt down to inspect the flesh colored strand and realized that Max had in fact produced the missing thong from the depths of his bowels. Still hoping he could salvage his reputation, if not the possibility of a relationship, Ned picked the shriveled, faded, partially disintegrated undergarment from the warm pile and quickly placed it in his coat pocket, hoping that no one had witnessed his excavation. He then rushed home to hand wash the thong and later called his date to explain the situation. Tbe future ex-girlfriend apparently decided this effort merited a second date and the rest, as they say, is history. The moral of the story? I have no idea. But a pretty good story nontheless.