Where to begin? Some people call her the "candy lady." Some people just call her "her." It turns out that she is named Maureen. And she is a dominant figure at our dog park, not by any magnetism of personality mind you, but by sheer force. Maureen cuts an imposing figure as she lumbers up the pitch of grass at one end of the park. She wears tight sweatpants and has enormous, how do you say, hindquarters, though she is otherwise seemingly athletic. She has also suited up with a fanny pack brimming with doggy treats, apparently giving rise to her Candy Lady alias.
Maureen's dog is a white, male, 20 pound Shitzu named Chopsticks that bounds up the hill beside her. In keeping with her anglicized dog theme, Maureen has attached a red plastic pig to one end of the leash she has draped around her neck. The pig's name? Mushu pig. Once Maureen has ascended the hill and joined the rest of the dog parkers, she begins her evening ritual. First, she starts slowly swinging Mushu pig back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, as if trying to hypnotize any dogs in her immediate vicinity. She then breaks out the "candy" and starts giving doggy biscuits to the surrounding pooches.
And then, as if a switch has been flipped, Maureen starts berating the dogs, accusing them of trying to steal Mushu pig. She also questions their sincerity and lambastes them for only coming to her for the treats - opposed, I assume, to surrounding her because they all really enjoy her company. I have two hypotheses about this behavior. One, Maureen doesn't want the other dog parkers to feel badly that they aren't the ones surrounded by dogs, and so she flips the switch in an effort to explain to everybody why the dogs have flocked to her even though it is completely obvious. Two, she is crazy.
Stay tuned for more on Maureen and Chopsticks...
1 comment:
The dog park sure seems ripe for some amateur -- and probably offensive -- psychoanalysis (which, of course, can be based on purely speculative assumptions). So here goes...
Speculative assumption:
The Candy Lady has been, ahem, offering her "treats" (e.g. tight pants) for years, but has only had relationships that have ended badly for her.
Amateur psychoanalysis that is probably offensive:
She now acts out this ritual in which she can let her "suitors" know that she is on to their game -- they only want her "treats" and will end up stealing her "heart" (i.e. Mushu) in the process -- before they inevitably leave when they are satisfied. The ritual is both empowering (the Candy Lady abandons the role of victim because she is aware of what is going on) and healing (berating the "suitors" flushes anger), all in the time required to take Chopsticks out to make a doodie!
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